...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize