Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize