The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
