i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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