So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
