Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
birth control should be required to get into college
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
