Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize