guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
