I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
