Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize