If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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