I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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