Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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