in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
