pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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