yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
