I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize