..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
