White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
