is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can text with my tongue
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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