When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
