if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
