We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
