Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
