Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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