I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
