I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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