Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
