its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
