i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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