her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
