I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
