It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
