There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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