I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
