My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
