Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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