I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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