is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
