Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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