Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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