If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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