I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize