we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
