I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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