Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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