she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
