I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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