Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i will never coherently bang her
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
