Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Drunk is not a location!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
