Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
