I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
