The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
