We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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