i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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