Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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