I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
