I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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