Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
