Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
