physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
